Biochemists' Song Book

THE BIOCHEMISTS’ SONGBOOK THE BIOCHEMISTS’ SONGBOOK By Harold Baum King’s College University of London UK USA Taylor & Francis Ltd, 1 Gunpowder Square, London, EC4A 3DF Taylor & Francis Inc., 325 Chestnut Street, 8th Floor, Philadelphia, PA 19106 Copyright © Harold Baum 1995 First Edition published by Pergamon Press 1982 This edition published in the Taylor & Francis e-Library, 2003. Second Edition published by Taylor & Francis Ltd 1995 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, electrostatic, magnetic tape, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the copyright owner. British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library. ISBN 0-203-48298-0 Master e-book ISBN ISBN 0-203-79122-3 (Adobe eReader Format) ISBN 07484 0416 3 (Print Edition) Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication data are available To my wife Glenda who still only nags me for my own good PREFACE TO THE FIRST EDITION For some years it has been the custom that I write a biochemical song for our Departmental Christmas Party. The rules are that the song is written (to a well known tune) whilst travelling upstairs on the No. 22 bus between Putney Bridge and Manresa Road. Mrs. Stewart, our inspired Departmental Secretary, then transcribes the illegible scrawl into typescript, which is checked for biochemical rigour and for tolerable scansion by some of my long-suffering colleagues. The song is then duplicated and sung by everyone at the party, accompanied at the piano by another of my colleagues, Terence Steenson. Some of these songs found their way to Sir Hans Krebs in Oxford, who very kindly encouraged me to continue producing them, and subsequently suggested (perhaps not too seriously) that I write an entire Introduction to Biochemistry in this format. My wife had been making a similar suggestion for some time, and the combined encouragement of two such remarkable patrons led to an increase in my scribbling activity— I began to compose on buses Nos. 85, 85A, 14 and 30 as well—and hence to the completion of the present collection. Consequently, only around half of these songs have so far been subject to the test of public performance. However, on the basis of past experience I am confident that they all can be sung, provided that certain rules are followed. Firstly, the scansion must be worked over privately, as some words and phrases have to be accented at surprising places. Secondly, these are songs; they should not be declaimed as poems. Thirdly, they are intended for communal singing, preferably with musical accompaniment and ideally with a blood alcohol level of around 35 mg per cent. Some of the songs may seem inordinately long—although no longer than some bar-room ballads I know. This is not really my fault; I didn’t devise the pathways. In view of their length, however, I would strongly discourage any attempt to sing more than one a day. vii If you have any difficulties in fitting the words to the music, or if you do not understand how the words relate to the pathways, please write to me and I will try to help. If you have suggestions to improve any of the songs, either for literary or biochemical reasons, please also write to me—just in case we produce a second edition. viii PREFACE TO THE SECOND EDITION The first edition of my modest little songbook finally ran out of steam 13 years and several reprints a