The Transcending Divorce Journal: Exploring The Ten Essential Touchstones

The Transcending Divorce Journal Also by Alan Wolfelt Healing A Child’s Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas for Families, Friends & Caregivers Healing A Friend’s Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas for Helping Someone You Love Through Loss Healing A Teen’s Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas for Families, Friends & Caregivers Healing Your Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas The Journey Through Grief: Reflections on Healing Living in the Shadow of the Ghosts of Grief: Step Into the Light Transcending Divorce: Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart The Transcending Divorce Support Group Guide: Guidance and Meeting Plans for Facilitators The Wilderness of Divorce: Finding Your Way Companion Press is dedicated to the education and support of both the bereaved and bereavement caregivers. We believe that those who companion the bereaved by walking with them as they journey in grief have a wondrous opportunity: to help others embrace and grow through grief—and to lead fuller, more deeply-lived lives themselves because of this important ministry. For a complete catalog and ordering information, write or call: Companion Press The Center for Loss and Life Transition 3735 Broken Bow Road Fort Collins, Colorado 80526 (970) 226-6050 www.centerforloss.com The Transcending Divorce Journal Exploring the Ten Essential Touchstones A companion workbook to the book Transcending Divorce Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. Fort Collins, Colorado An imprint of the Center for Loss and Life Transition © 2008 by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher. Companion Press is an imprint of the Center for Loss and Life Transition, 3735 Broken Bow Road, Fort Collins, Colorado 80526. Printed in the United States of America. 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 09 08 ISBN: 978-1-879651-54-8 5 4 3 2 1 Contents Introduction 1 Touchstone One Open to the Presence of Your Loss 5 Touchstone Two Dispel the Misconceptions About Divorce and Grief 13 Touchstone Three Understand the Uniqueness of Your Divorce Experience 31 Touchstone Four Explore Your Feelings of Loss 51 Touchstone Five Recognize You Are Not Crazy 71 Touchstone Six Understand the Six Needs of Divorce Transition 83 Touchstone Seven Nurture Yourself 95 Touchstone Eight Reach Out for Help 109 Touchstone Nine Seek Integration—Not Resolution 115 Touchstone Ten Appreciate Your Transformation 121 Introduction “Writing is the most profound way of codifying your thoughts, the best way of learning from yourself who you are and what you believe.” Warren Bennis I have written this journal as a companion to my book Transcending Divorce: Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart. My hope is that this guided journal can be a “safe place” for you to explore your experience with the ten essential Touchstones.