Rachel's Holiday

For Tony Contents 1 They said I was a drug addict. I found that… 1 2 The stewardess tried to squeeze past Paul and me. “Can… 9 3 The Cloisters cost a fortune. That’s why so many pop… 18 4 I’d been on nodding terms with Luke Costello long before… 28 5 All in all, the idea of sleeping with Luke or… 32 6 I enjoyed talking to the Real Men. In New York… 37 7 “That’s it, that’s the Cloisters.” Dad slowed down the car… 48 8 “Poor bastards,” I thought in sympathy as I looked at… 56 9 Come now, come, I cajoled myself. Let’s look on the… 65 10 Mike grabbed me by the wrist and rushed me down… 73 11 Now what happens? I wondered eagerly. Now do we go… 79 12 The tea was lovely in a totally disgusting way. We… 85 13 I loitered in the dining room as the remains of… 89 14 And so to bed. Cue: yawns, outstretched arms, rubbing of… 95 15 The first morning I found myself in bed with Luke… 102 16 After it was over I stumbled out into the hall… 107 17 In the middle of a lovely dream, I was woken… 112 18 The day never really got on track for me. I… 118 19 In the afternoon a nice man that I hadn’t seen… 122 20 Sunday. Visiting day! 127 21 It was Monday morning. 136 22 I had promised myself that Monday would be the day… 143 23 “I’m afraid you can’t leave,” said Dr. Billings. 150 24 “You see, Luke isn’t a very nice person,” I was… 154 25 My consumption of Celine’s last cookie coincided with the others… 159 26 When I went to bed that night I was confused. 168 27 In no time at all the place was packed. There… 175 28 I got lucky that night. I hooked up with a… 180 29 I was nearly sick with fear that the questionnaire might… 186 30 We limped back to the dining room, drained after all… 194 31 The following morning in group my relief was almost hysterical… 197 32 On this Sunday, I was allowed visitors. What I was… 206 33 They say the path of true love never runs smooth.… 214 34 “Take off your dress,” Luke said softly. 221 35 Naturally I couldn’t go to work the next day. Liberated… 232 36 “Jesus, it’s nearly nine o’clock!” Chris declared. A great stampede… 240 37 What was my earliest memory? I wondered, looking at the… 248 38 I decided not to use the Easter egg story. I… 258 39 After tea that evening, we were given a talk. We… 267 40 And so to group. 279 41 Over the next couple of group sessions, in a scenario… 285 42 The night Luke stormed out of my kitchen—oh yes, even… 291 43 Not as such. I didn’t actually, there and then, utter… 295 44 It was a date, a real one. 302 45 Another weekend. Two days free from the fear of the… 312 46 After the visitors left, Sunday Afternoon Suffocation suddenly descended on… 319 47 On Monday morning in group Josephine turned her attention to… 324 48 Brigit and I were both lying on her bed, barely… 331 49 I was eager for Brigit to get together with Joey,… 337 50 Summer in New York moved into fall, a much more… 344 51 Lunchtime at the Cloisters. My parents were due in about… 349 52 The following morning we had the usual stampede down the…<