Clash! How To Thrive In A Multicultural World

CLASH! CLASH! 8 Cultural Conflicts That Make Us Who We Are HAZEL ROSE MARKUS, PH.D., AND ALANA CONNER, PH.D. HUDSON STREET PRESS Published by the Penguin Group Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA USA | Canada | UK | Ireland | Australia | New Zealand | India | South Africa | China Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England For more information about the Penguin Group visit penguin.com First published by Hudson Street Press, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 2013 Copyright © Hazel Rose Markus and Alana Conner, 2013 All rights reserved. No part of this product may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions. REGISTERED TRADEMARK—MARCA REGISTRADA CIP data is available. ISBN: 978-1-101-62360-2 PUBLISHER’S NOTE While the authors have made every effort to provide accurate telephone numbers, Internet addresses, and other contact information at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the authors assume any responsibility for errors or for changes that occur after publication. Further, publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party Web sites or their content. For the brightest stars in our culture cycles: Alice, Bob, Krysia, Marilyn, Christian, and Taylor Contents Introduction: Culture Trouble Chapter 1. Hearts and Minds, East and West Chapter 2. A Spin through the Culture Cycle Chapter 3. Women Are from Earth, Men Are from Earth: Gender Cultures Chapter 4. Color Lines: Cultures of Race and Ethnicity Chapter 5. Class Acts: Socioeconomic Cultures Chapter 6. States of Mind: U.S. Regional Cultures Chapter 7. Getting Religion: Faith Cultures Chapter 8. Love’s Labour’s Lost: Workplace Cultures Chapter 9. The Economic Equator: Cultures of the Global North and South Chapter 10. Self-Made: The Culture of You Acknowledgments Notes Index Introduction Culture Trouble “I am large, I contain multitudes.” —Walt Whitman, “Song of Myself” N o TV. No computer games. No choice of free-time activities. And when noncompliant, no food, no water, no bathroom, and no shelter. To many people, these rules sound like they came straight out of an American prison on a bad human rights day. In reality, they are a few of the parenting tips Amy Chua offers in her 2011 memoir, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.1 An American-born daughter of Chinese immigrants, Chua reveals the parenting secrets of the Chinese, who are famous the world over for their successful children. Underlying Chinese and Western2 differences in bringing up the kids, says Chua, is how parents think about their children’s selves—their I’s, egos, minds, psyches, or souls, to use the technical terms. Western parents assume that children’s budding selves are fragile, and so they empower their youngsters with choices and fortify them with praise. But Chinese parents “assume strength, not fragility,” writes Chua.3 As a result, they set the bar dizzyingly high for their children, and then use tough techniques to help them meet the family’s expectations. If the proof of the parenting is in the offspring, Chua’s mothering is so far unassailable. Her elder daughter, Sophia Chua-Rubenfeld, made her Carnegie Hall debut at age fourteen, graduated first in her class from an elite prep school, and is now studying at Harvard University. Chua’s younger, “rebellious” daughter is no slouch, either. Louisa, an honor student at the same elite prep school, was a virtuoso violinist in the local symphony’s Prodi