Hooking Up: Sex, Dating, And Relationships On Campus

HOOKING UP K AT H L E E N A . B O G L E HOOKING UP Sex, Dating, and Relationships on Campus a New York University Press • New York and London N E W YO R K U N I V E R S I T Y P R E S S New York and London www.nyupress.org © 2008 by New York University All rights reserved Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Bogle, Kathleen A. Hooking up : sex, dating, and relationships on campus / Kathleen A. Bogle. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN-13: 978-0-8147-9968-0 (cloth : alk. paper) ISBN-10: 0-8147-9968-X (cloth : alk. paper) ISBN-13: 978-0-8147-9969-7 (pbk. : alk. paper) ISBN-10: 0-8147-9969-8 (pbk. : alk. paper) 1. College students—Sexual behavior—United States. 2. Dating (Social customs)— United States. 3. Universities and colleges—Social aspects—United States. I. Title. HQ35.2.B65 2007 306.73084'20973—dc22 2007029765 New York University Press books are printed on acid-free paper, and their binding materials are chosen for strength and durability. Manufactured in the United States of America c 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 p 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Contents vii Acknowledgments 1 Introduction 1 2 From Dating to Hooking Up 11 3 The Hookup 24 4 The Hookup Scene 50 5 The Campus as a Sexual Arena 72 6 Men, Women, and the Sexual Double Standard 96 7 Life after College: A Return to Dating 128 8 Hooking Up and Dating: A Comparison 158 Methodological Appendix 187 Notes 191 Bibliography 211 Index 221 About the Author 225 v Acknowledgments There are many people who helped make Hooking Up possible. I am so grateful to all of them because I know this book would never have happened without them. I want to begin by thanking my mentor and friend, Joel Best, for believing in me and this project and for his invaluable feedback during every phase. The best thing that ever happened to me career-wise was being assigned as Joel’s teaching assistant during my second year of graduate school at University of Delaware. It was Joel who encouraged me to do this study on hooking up. Before I interviewed a single person or wrote a single page, Joel told me to “picture the book on the shelf.” Here it is and it would not have happened without him. I was fortunate to have many other influential teachers during graduate school whom I would like to thank, especially Ronet Bachman, Anne Bowler, Cynthia Robbins, and Gerry Turkel. Thanks also to Kathleen Tierney for teaching me how to conduct qualitative research. I also want to acknowledge Margaret Andersen, Susan Miller, and Rob Palkovitz, whose insights and comments helped to shape this study. I would never have started on the path of becoming a sociologist if it wasn’t for the mentors I had as an undergraduate at Saint Joseph’s University. I especially want to thank Raquel Kennedy-Bergen for inspiring me to choose this profession and helping me during so many stages along the way. I am also thankful to Dan Curran and Claire Renzetti, who were instrumental in getting me started in graduate school. I was fortunate to return to my alma mater and teach there on a visiting basis for a few years while I expanded my original study and transformed it into a book. During that time, I was lucky enough to work with George Dowdall, the best colleague anyone could ever have. I am grateful to George for his advice and guidance on this project and beyond. I am very thankful to