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Tired of the airbrushed images of archaeologists in TV documentaries? Want the dirt on what REALLY happens on a dig? Paul Bahn has collected dozens of fun tales from the trenches to illuminate what actually occurs when archaeologists go into the field. He reveals startling episodes with dangerous situations, other dangerous archaeologists (sometimes unclothed), dangerous animals large and small, and cans of beer large and small. The stories that don’t appear in the official reports have made their way into this small, humorous volume. Includes cartoons by noted illustrator Bill Tidy.
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Dirty Diggers This page intentionally left blank Dirty Diggers Tales from the Archaeological Trenches Paul Bahn Illustrated by Bill Tidy First published 2013 by Left Coast Press, Inc. Published 2016 by Routledge 2 Park Square, Milton Park, Abingdon, Oxon OX14 4RN 711 Third Avenue, New York, NY 10017, USA Routledge is an imprint of the Taylor & Francis Group, an informa business Copyright © 2013 Taylor & Francis All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reprinted or reproduced or utilised in any form or by any electronic, mechanical, or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publishers. Notice: Product or corporate names may be trademarks or registered trademarks, and are used only for identification and explanation without intent to infringe. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data: Bahn, Paul G. Dirty diggers : tales from the archaeological trenches / Paul Bahn ; illustrated by Bill Tidy. pages cm Includes bibliographical references. ISBN 978-1-61132-978-0 (pbk. : alk. paper) — ISBN 978-1-61132-755-7 (consumer ebook) 1. Archaeology—Anecdotes. 2. Archaeology—Humor. I. Title. CC175.B34 2013 930.1—dc23 2013024529 ISBN 978-1-61132-978-0 paperback Dedications For Alban and Albert Paul Bahn For Rosa Tidy Bill Tidy 5 This page intentionally left blank CONTENTS Introduction 9 FIELDWORK FUN 11 EXCAVATION ENCOUNTERS 25 DIG DIALOGUES 43 FOOD AND GROG AND AFTER-EFFECTS… 65 Incongruous Finds 13 Everybody Hurts Sometimes 14 Eccentric Diggers 17 Falling Down 19 Unpleasant Archaeological Sights 21 Slip-Ups 23 Dealing with the Locals 27 Men in Uniform 29 The Bear Necessities 34 More on Bones 39 The Green Chair 40 Loonies 41 Intelligent Comments 45 Stupid Questions 47 Honest Mistakes 48 Dishonest Mistakes 57 Archaeologists are Cunning Linguists 58 Problems with English 62 Food for Thought 67 The Demon Drink 73 Don’t Drink the Water! 82 Hubble Bubble, Toilet Trouble 87 ARCHAEOLOGY AFTER HOURS Archaeologists and Marriage 95 Goings On 98 Archaeologists in the Raw 101 Women and Archaeology 104 Sex in the Field 109 The Wheeler Dealer 110 BACK AT THE OFFICE Mummy’s Boys 117 Archaeological Theses 120 Conclusion 121 References 123 About the Authors 125 93 115 INTRODUCTION Archaeology is not a subject that is normally associated with humour, but Time Team and other shows have demonstrated that it is filled with colourful characters and eccentrics, and this was even more so in the past. In preparing this volume we contacted numerous friends and colleagues round the world, and received a few decidedly lugubrious and humourless responses! Fortunately, there are quite a few practitioners who have a good sense of humour, either at their own expense, or more usually at other people’s! A good number of them admitted to knowing stories which would be utterly unprintable for var