Divorce Busting: A Step-by-step Approach To Making Your Marriage Loving Again

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In this ground-breaking book, Michele Weiner-Davis gives straightforward, effective advice on how couples can stay together instead of come apart.Using case histories to illustrate her marriage-enriching, divorce-preventing techniques, which can be used even if only one partner participates, Weiner-Davis shows readers:* How to leave the past behind and set attainable goals* Strategies for identifying problem-solving behavior that works -- and how to make changes last* "Uncommon-sense" methods for breaking unproductive patternsInspirational and accessible, Divorce Busting shows readers in pain that working it out is better than getting out.

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THE N A T I O N A L BESTSELLER A STEP-BY-STEP APPROACH TO MAKING YOUR MARRIAGE LOVING AGAIN I MARRIAGE-SAVING TECHNIQUES THAT: •GET RESULTS W ITHIN A MONTH •FOCUS ON SOLUTIONS, NOT PROBLEMS •CAN BE USED ALONE OR W ITH YOUR SPOUSE MICHELE WEINER-DAVIS ALSO BY MICHELE WEINER-DAVIS In Search of Solutions: A New Direction in Psychotherapy . (with William Hudson O'Hanlon) * •!* r- n n » » m i *#*• B FIRESIDE Rockefeller Center 1230 Avenue of the Americas New York, New York 10020 Copyright © 1992 by Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW, CSW All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. First Fireside edition 1993 FIRESIDE*afrfd ^ J ^ h o r i^ rfegilt^red trademarks * Gf*Si*i

To my mother, father, and two brothers. To my children, Danielle and Zachary, who continually remind me of what's important in life. Most of all, to my husband, Jim, whose never-ending support, charitable ear, down-to-earth advice, and painstaking editorial suggestions made this book a reality. He selflessly nurtured me during my intense year-long affair with writing and did so with­ out complaining. The gift of his friendship has not gone unno­ ticed or unappreciated. Acknowledgments Although only one name appears on the book’s cover, many peo­ ple have generously contributed their time to making this book a reality. I am fortunate to have colleagues, friends, and family who have provided support and/or insightful feedback on the manu­ script, such as George Enns, Eve Lipchik, Tony Heath, Rich Si­ mon, Mike Nichols, Suzanne Barrows, and Diane Woodruff. A special thanks to Mike Nichols for having spread good rumors about my work. I am also extremely appreciative of my colleagues at the Amer­ ican Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, particularly Diane Sollee and Virginia Rutter, for their support and for pro­ viding me with the opportunity to “spread the word.” In addition, there are many colleagues who have greatly influ­ enced my thinking during the years I’ve been practicing therapy. The staff at the Brief Family Therapy Center has been one such major influence. I especially want to thank Steve de Shazer, who taught me to be “simple-minded.” He undoubtedly inspired many ideas presented throughout this book. In particular, I am grateful to Ar