Couples, Kids, And Family Life (social Worlds From The Inside Out)

Couples, Kids, and Family Life Social Worlds from the Inside Out Series Editors Jaber F. Gubrium James A. Holstein Social worlds come to us through stories, conveyed to us both by members and through detailed descriptions offered to us by careful observers. It’s through such narratives of experience that we come to know what’s happened to members of particular social worlds, how they feel about themselves, what life is like under the circumstances, and what their prospects are for the future. Social Worlds from the Inside Out is a book series which explores this theme for various social worlds by way of compelling qualitative case material. It opens to view the everyday lives of those who, day in and day out, experience and contend with the social worlds that are the focus of sociology courses. Couples, Kids, and Family Life Edited by Jaber F. Gubrium James A. Holstein New York Oxford OXFORD UNIVERSITY PRESS 2006 Oxford University Press, Inc., publishes works that further Oxford University’s objective of excellence in research, scholarship, and education. Oxford New York Auckland Cape Town Dar es Salaam Hong Kong Karachi Kuala Lumpur Madrid Melbourne Mexico City Nairobi New Delhi Shanghai Taipei Toronto With offices in Argentina Austria Brazil Chile Czech Republic France Greece Guatemala Hungary Italy Japan Poland Portugal Singapore South Korea Switzerland Thailand Turkey Ukraine Vietnam Copyright © 2006 by Oxford University Press, Inc. Published by Oxford University Press, Inc. 198 Madison Avenue, New York, New York 10016 http://www.oup.com Oxford is a registered trademark of Oxford University Press All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of Oxford University Press. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Couples, kids, and family life / edited by Jaber F. Gubrium, James A. Holstein. p. cm. — (Social worlds from the inside out) Includes index. ISBN-13: 978-0-19-517791-6 (alk. paper) ISBN-10: 0-19-517791-6 (alk. paper) ISBN-13: 978-0-19-517790-9 (pbk. : alk. paper) ISBN-10: 0-19-517790-8 (pbk. : alk. paper) 1. Family. 2. Family life education. 3. Couples. 4. Parent and child. 5. Divorce. I. Gubrium, Jaber F. II. Holstein, James A. III. Series. HQ734+ 06.87—dc23 2005047299 Printing number: 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Printed in the United States of America on acid-free paper CONTENTS vii viii CONTRIBUTORS INTRODUCTION PART 1: COUPLES 1 1 “I’m excited to be married, but . . .”: Romance and Realism in Marriage Emily Fairchild 3 2 Making Sense of “Husbands” and “Wives” Autumn Behringer 20 3 The Everyday Meaning of Marital Equality Scott R. Harris 44 PART 2: PARENTS AND KIDS 63 4 Being a Good Parent Rebecca L. Warner 65 5 Keeping Tabs on Teenagers Demie Kurz 84 6 Kids, Cars, and Family Life Amy L. Best 104 7 Sissy Boy, Progressive Parents Daniel Farr 124 v CONTENTS vi PART 3: REARRANGEMENTS 143 8 Couples Facing Divorce Derek Ball and Peter Kiv