The Understanding Your Suicide Grief Journal: Exploring The Ten Essential Touchstones (understanding Your Grief)

The Understanding Your Suicide Grief Journal Also by Alan Wolfelt The Handbook for Companioning the Mourner: Eleven Essential Principles Healing Your Traumatized Heart:100 Practical Ideas After Someone You Love Dies a Sudden, Violent Death The Journey Through Grief: Reflections on Healing Understanding Your Suicide Grief: Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart The Understanding Your Suicide Grief Support Group Guide: Meeting Plans for Facilitators The Wilderness of Suicide Grief: Finding Your Way Companion Press is dedicated to the education and support of both the bereaved and bereavement caregivers. We believe that those who companion the bereaved by walking with them as they journey in grief have a wondrous opportunity: to help others embrace and grow through grief—and to lead fuller, more deeply-lived lives themselves because of this important ministry. For a complete catalog and ordering information, write or call: Companion Press The Center for Life and Loss Transition 3735 Broken Bow Road Fort Collins, Colorado 80526 (970) 226-6050 www.centerforloss.com The Understanding Your Suicide Grief Journal A companion workbook to the book Understanding Your Suicide Grief Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. Fort Collins, Colorado An imprint of the Center for Loss and Life Transition © 2009 by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher. Companion Press is an imprint of the Center for Loss and Life Transition, 3735 Broken Bow Road, Fort Collins, Colorado 80526. Printed in the United States of America. 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 09 ISBN: 978-1-879651-59-3 54321 Contents Introduction 1 Welcome: An Invitation to Open Your Heart 7 Touchstone One Open to the Presence of Your Loss 9 Touchstone Two Dispel the Misconceptions About Suicide and Grief and Mourning 17 Touchstone Three Explore the Uniqueness of Your Suicide Grief 33 Touchstone Four Explore Your Feelings of Loss 57 Touchstone Five Recognize You Are Not Crazy 81 Touchstone Six Understand the Six Needs of Mourning 93 Touchstone Seven Nurture Yourself 111 Touchstone Eight Reach Out for Help 125 Touchstone Nine Seek Reconciliation, Not Resolution 133 Touchstone Ten Appreciate Your Transformation 139 Continuing Your Journey 145 Introduction “Writing is the most profound way of codifying your thoughts, the best way of learning from yourself who you are and what you believe.” Warren Bennis I have written this journal as a companion to my book Understanding Your Suicide Grief: Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart. My hope is that this guided journal can be a “safe place” for you to explore your experience with the ten essential Touchstones. As you tell your story, your words will guide you on your unique journey through the wilderness of your grief. Your words will also give testimony to the love you will always have for the person who has died. You can use the journal not only to understand your grief, but to remember, celebrate, and commemorate the life of the person t