E-Book Content
Just Married, Please Excuse
Yashodhara Lal
To my family – for the material they provide.
Contents Cover Title Page Dedication
PART I: CAUTION MARRIAGE AHEAD 1: Pop Goes the Question 2: The First Date 3: I Saw the Sign 4: Meeting the Parents 5: Marrying a Sharma 6: The Honeymoon 7: Settling Down 8: Going Shopping 9: Opposites Attack 10: The Proud Landowners 11: Driving Miss Crazy 12: The Ladies Man 13: Of Chai in Jaipur 14: Of Alu Gobi in Delhi 15: A Home of Our Own 16: Bye Bye Bangalore
PART II: ROUGH ROAD 1: I Get By With a Little Help from My Help
2: The Social Circle 3: I’m WHAT? 4: What’s Up, Doc? 5: Make Way for Peanut 6: The Peanut Arrives 7: New Parents 8: Enter the Kajal
PART III: ! DISASTER ZONE 1: The Homecoming 2: Back On Bandstand 3: Kajal Settles In 4: The Princess and the Pea-brains 5: All Ees Really Not That Well 6: A Little Counselling Never Hurt Anyone. Much. 7: Guess Who’s Coming to Visit? 8: Hello Ji, Mummyji, Papaji 9: Mo’ Counseling, Mo’ Problems 10: A Birthday to Remember, Even if You Try to Forget 11: A Fight of Volcanic Proportions 12: Bye-bye, Thank You 13: The Night Under the Stars Acknowledgements About the Author Copyright
PART I
CAUTION MARRIAGE AHEAD
1
Pop Goes the Question I’ve been meaning to ask you,’ Vijay said casually, over the phone. ‘Achha, ‘When do you think we should get married?’ The question caught me off guard since the only build up to it had been our wishing each other a rather soppy, lovey-dovey good morning. I paused for a moment to give it a considered response. ‘Eh?’ I was never at my eloquent best when taken by surprise. I looked at my phone with raised eyebrows as if Vijay could see my questioning expression. Considering that we had been seeing each other for only three months, and that I was in my early twenties and just out of management college, I was completely unprepared for even the mention of marriage. But here it was – an unmistakable, undeniable, definite mention. ‘Married?’ I choked out the words with some difficulty. ‘Ha ha! You’re joking, right? I’m only twenty-three – a mere child. You want to be held directly responsible for child marriage? No, na?’ I heard a by-now familiar, stifled sigh at the other end of the line. ‘Honey, mujhe pata hain you’re twenty-three. But I’m thirty, and I can only hold my parents off for so long. You know they’re starting to look for arranged marriage matches for me. Again.’ I did know this and didn’t particularly like it. I became petulant. ‘So tell them to butt out. Or maybe,’ I added spitefully, ‘you should just go and marry some
Harbinder or Buntvinder that they choose for you.’ ‘Buntvinder?’ he chuckled. ‘That’s not even a real name. But tumhare liye achha hain, actually – my little Buntvinder. Ha ha.’ He sensed I was not amused, and his voice became serious again. ‘Look, we are eventually getting married, right? So why not now?’ ‘Vijay! We’ve only been going out for three months …’ ‘Arrey! I’m old-fashioned … I don’t understand all this going-out, shoing-out stuff. I thought you were as serious about it as I am.’ ‘Of course I am as serious about it as you are. I just didn’t know that you were so … serious!’ This time, his sigh was not as stifled as the previous one. ‘Okay then. I guess we’ll talk about it some other time. See you in the evening.’ Exchanging goodbyes that were a little colder than usual, we hung up, and I flopped my head back onto my pillow. I was definitely not prepared for a discussion like this. Besides, it was one of those beautiful chilly Saturday mornings in Bangalore which are best spent lazing in bed. So although it was already 9 a.m., I had still been in the process of waking up when Vijay had called. He, on the other hand, had taken the early morning flight for a day-trip to Delhi and had already been up for about five hour