Marital Myths

c7y[antal Myths c^moldA Lazarus PhD. u > I r A?'' )m( S^..^.- " •^«^.>.. .Ji^'^ - - 'arit£il lyths Mvti c^moldA. Lazarus PhD. Impact ^^ Publishers SAN LUIS OBISPO. CALIFORNIA 93406 Copyright © 1985 by Arnold A. Lazarus Fourth Printing, December, 1991 rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any recording or mechanical, photocopying, means, electronic, otherwise, without express written permission of the author or publisher, except for brief quotations in critical reviews. All Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data Lazarus, Arnold A. Marital myths. 1 . Marriage. 2. Interpersonal relations. 1985 HQ734.L362 ISBN 0-915166-51-8 (pbk.) 3. I. Communication in marriage. Title. 306. 8'1 85-14362 Publisher's Note designed to proinde accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering This publication is psychological, medical, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought. Cover and Montana. title page design and illustration by Joe Boddy, Missoula, Printed in the United States of America. Published by impact ^^ Publishers POST OFFICE BOX 1094 SAN LUIS OB^SPO. CALIFORNIA 93406 MARITAL MYTHS CONTENTS MYTH MYTH MYTH f^ 2: if if I: 3: INTRODUCTION / HUSBANDS AND WIVES SHOULD BE BEST FRIENDS 7 ROMANTIC LOVE MAKES A GOOD MARRIAGE 12 EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS WILL DESTROY A MARRIAGE 18 MYTHU: IF MYTH HUSBANDS AND WIVES SHOULD DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER if 5: MYTHif6: YOU FEEL GUILTY, CONFESS YOU HAVE TO WORK AT MARRIAGE 24 . . . . 30 . . . 39 MYTH a?: A HAPPY MARRIAGE REQUIRES TOTAL TRUST MYTH if 8: 49 GOOD SPOUSES SHOULD MAKE THEIR PARTNERS HAPPY 54 MYTHff9: IN GOOD MARRIAGES, HUSBANDS AND WIVES 'LET IT ALL HANG our 59 MYTHHIO: GOOD HUSBANDS DO HOUSEHOLD REPAIRS; GOOD WIVES DO THE LAUNDRY MYTH nil: HA VINGA 66 CHILD WILL IMPROVE A BAD MARRIAGE 73 MYTH ffl2: MARRIA GE SHOULD BE A 5050 PARTNERSHIP 78 MYTH #i5: MARRIA GE CAN FULFILL ALL YOUR DREAMS 83 MYTHnU: TRUE LOVERS AUTOMATICALLY KNOW EACH OTHER'S THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS MYTH #75: AN UNHAPPY MARRIAGE IS BETTER MYTH ft 1 6: THAN A BROKEN HOME A HUSBAND'S AMBITION COMES BEFORE A WIFE'S CAREER . . . 89 ... 95 . . .104 MYTH #77; IF YOUR SPOUSE WANTS TO LEA VE, HANG ON AND FIGHT 109 MYTH ^18: DEAD LOVE CAN SOMETIMES BE REKINDLED 77^ MYTH §19: COMPETITION BETWEEN SPOUSES ADDS SPARKLE TO A MARRIAGE 120 MYTH nO: YOU SHOULD MAKE YOUR SPOUSE OVER INTO MYTH #27: 'A BETTER PERSON' 125 OPPOSITES A TTRA CT AND COMPLEMENT EACH OTHER .<