E-Book Overview
GET TO THE TRUTH People--friends, family members, work colleagues, salespeople--lie to us all the time. Daily, hourly, constantly. None of us is immune, and all of us are victims. According to studies by several different researchers, most of us encounter nearly 200 lies a day. Now there's something we can do about it. Pamela Meyer'sLiespottinglinks three disciplines--facial recognition training, interrogation training, and a comprehensive survey of research in the field--into a specialized body of information developed specifically to help business leaders detect deception and get the information they need to successfully conduct their most important interactions and transactions. Some of the nation's leading business executives have learned to use these methods to root out lies in high stakes situations.Liespottingfor the first time brings years of knowledge--previously found only in the intelligence community, police training academies, and universities--into the corporate boardroom, the manager's meeting, the job interview, the legal proceeding, and the deal negotiation. WHAT'S IN THE BOOK? Learn communication secrets previously known only to a handful of scientists, interrogators and intelligence specialists. Liespottingreveals what's hiding in plain sight in every business meeting, job interview and negotiation: - The single most dangerous facial expression to watch out for in business & personal relationships - 10 questions that get people to tell you anything - A simple 5-step method for spotting and stopping the lies told in nearly every high-stakes business negotiation and interview - Dozens of postures and facial expressions that should instantly put you on Red Alert for deception - The telltale phrases and verbal responses that separate truthful stories from deceitful ones - How to create a circle of advisers who will guarantee your success
E-Book Content
LIESPOTTING
LIESPOTTING Proven Techniques to Detect Deception
PAMELA MEYER
St. Martin’s Press New York
For Fred
CONTENTS
Introduction I Detecting Deception One: The Deception Epidemic Two: Deception 101—Who, When, and Why Three: Reading the Face Four: Reading the Body Five: Listening to the Words Six: The BASIC Interview Method II Building Trust Seven: Liespotting for High Stakes Eight: The Deception Audit Nine: Building Your Brain Trust Ten: Putting It All Together Appendix I Putting BASIC to Work Appendix II Test Your Liespotting Skills Notes Acknowledgments
INTRODUCTION
I didn’t set out to become a liespotter. I am neither a scientist nor a psychologist, and I never imagined I would spend three years researching deception, then develop a system we can use to protect ourselves from it. But I learned that the average person is lied to close to two hundred times a day. I learned that we are no better than monkeys at determining fact from fiction. And I learned that none of the sophisticated lie-detection techniques used by security experts and government agents had been adapted for everyday professional use. It seemed almost criminal not to make it my business to make sure that everyone has access to this invaluable new tool. Calling myself a liespotter—a human lie detector—might suggest that I live in anticipation of being deceived, wary and suspicious of everyone with whom I come into contact. Actually, becoming a trained liespotter allows you to do the opposite. You’ll know you have the tools you need to protect yourself in situations in which you might encounter falsehood or obfuscation. Becoming a liespotter doesn’t inspire paranoia—it frees you from it.
DECEPTION AT WORK Like everyone, I’ve experienced deception and suffered the disappointment and disillusionment that accompanies