A Defense Of Masochism

A De ense o MASOCHISM ANITA PHILLIPS A Defense of MASOCHISM by the same author THE VIRTUE S, THE VICES AND ALL THE PASSIONS A Defense of MASOCHISM ANITA PHILLIPS S t. Martin's P re ss ~ Ne w York Copyright© 1998 by Anita Phillips. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. For information, address St. Martin's Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010. A DEFENSE OF MASOCHISM. ISBN 0-312-19258-4 First published in Great Britain by Faber and Faber Ltd. First U.S. Edition: October 1998 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 } For my mother and father ... Contents r 2 3 4 5 6 Introduction Art into Sickness The Overspill Belladonna The Fierce Order of Virility Reckonings The U ses and Abuses of Suffering A Notebook r r7 33 47 75 r r3 13 5 165 Acknowledgements Malcolm Bowie: for being the one who can be respected . Stephen Barber: for his generous encouragement. Michael Worton: for his integrity. Helen Hayward: for extraordinary insight, scepticism and lucidity. Julian Loose: for ruthless exigence. Patrick ffrench: for applying his theoretical, imaginative and speculative virtuosity to the task of making life attain to the condition of art. Introduction The party was nearly over. A sandy-haired young Scottish lawyer approached me, having heard I was writing a book on masochism. Tipsy and mesmerized by the idea, he told me that he believed women were all masochists and men sadists. It was a fact that nobody admitted, it was covered up, and he really wanted to talk about it to me - the only other person in the world to have discovered (he seemed to think) this undeniable, essential truth. Finally his friends, laughing, pulled him away. In a cafe near Regent's Park one afternoon I met a close friend from academia who looks like a boyish version of Nicole Kidman. We had both finished our doctorates at around the same time, but now, she told me, she was having difficulty in applying for jobs. The reason was her 'inherent masochism'. She smiled wryly, as if in some discomfort. These are just two examples of the widely different meanings people attribute to the term, and the widely differing ways they relate their experience to it. In the ensuing discussion with my friend, I aired my suspicion that she was over-keen to detect a masochistic origin in her difficulties. Surely they could be attributed to understandable post-thesis emotional reactions, such as ambivalence and self-doubt? In my brief, joky exchange with the lawyer, I tried to challenge what I considered his oversimplified views by saying that masochism as a term had been invented to describe not a female, but a male sexual tendency. One of the aims of this book is to understand what kinds of things really are masochistic and what should be left aside and reconsidered in a different light. Masochism has become a convenient catch-all word, and is used to cover a multitude of sins as well as graces. I would say that misunderstanding of I A DEFENCE OF MASOCH ISM .. masochistic behaviour is widespread, and the reasons for this are predominantly historical. Over the course of time, with gradual changes of use, theoretical redefinitions and reappropriations, meanings have become obscured. This is confusing for everybody. My premise is that our picture of masochism is wildly skewed. In this book I stand up for masochism. If that sounds an unlikely project it is because of a vague and utterly mistaken belief that masochists enjoy and absorb violence, including intellectual violence. On the cont