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THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES singles edition gary chapman NORTHFIELD PUBLISHING CHICAGO © 2004, 2009 by GARY CHAPMAN All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. Portions of chapter 11 originally appeared in Dr. Gary Chap man on The Marriage You Always Wanted (Chicago: Moody, 2005), 15–17. All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version ® . NIV ® . Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982, 1992 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Editor: Randall J. Payleitner and Jim Vincent Study guide by: Dillon Burroughs Interior Design: Smartt Guys design Cover Design: The DesignWorks Group Inc. Cover Images: Heart Coffee Foam—Corbis; Coffee Mug—iStockphoto Author Photo: David Smith All Web sites and phone numbers listed herein are accurate at the time of publication but may change in the future or cease to exist. The listing of Web site references and resources does not imply publisher endorsement of the site’s entire contents. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Chapman, Gary D. The five love languages singles edition / by Gary Chapman. p. cm. ISBN 978-1-881273-87-5 1. Single people—Religious life. 2. Love—Religious aspects— Christianity. I. Title. BV4596.S5C46 2004 248.8’4—dc22 2004006514 This book is printed on acid free recycled paper containing 30% PCW (Post Consumer Waste) and manufactured in the United States of America by Dickinson Press. We hope you enjoy this book from Northfield Publishing. Our goal is to provide high-quality, thought-provoking books and products that connect truth to your real needs and challenges. For more information on other books and products written and produced from a biblical perspective, go to www.moodypublishers.com or write to: Northfield Publishing 215 West Locust Street Chicago, IL 60610 1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2 Printed in the United States of America To the many singles who during the p ast thirty years have shared with me their relationship struggles and joys. May this b ook b ring more joy and less struggle. CONTENTS Acknowledgments Introduction 1. Single Adults: Significant and Growing 2. This Is It: The Key to Your Relationships 3. Love Language #1: Words of Affirmation 4. Love Language #2: Gifts 5. Love Language #3: Acts of Service 6. Love Language #4: Quality Time 7. Love Language #5: Physical Touch 8. You Go First: Discover Your Primary Love Language 9. Family: Connect the Dots with Your Immediate Family 10. Dating Relationships—Part 1: Love Languages and Your Special Someone 147 11. Dating Relationships—Part 2: Should Love Lead to Marriage? 12. They’re Not Just for Romantic Relationships: Roommates, Classmates, and Coworkers 13. Single with Kids: Love Languages and Single Parents 14. Success: Love Is the Key Notes Appendix: The Five Love Languages Profile Study Guide ACKNOWLEDGMENTS MANY STRANDS of influence have intertwined to produce this book. First, I was greatly influenced by those singles who read my original Five Love Languages book for married couples and encouraged me to write a sequel for singles. Without their encouragement I would never have begun the journey. The second strand of influence was the scores of singles who shared with me their encounters with love, or the lack of love, which shaped their lives. Their stories keep this book from being an academic treatise. I have wept and danced with them, and I hope the reader will expe